More Brothers & Sisters secrets revealed!

It's been a few weeks since our beloved Walkers last graced the television screen.

And to reward us for waiting, ABC is offering a two-hour episode of Brothers & Sisters when the show returns April 11.

As per usual, the preview's playing up the drama. Though I must warn you, this "movie event" goes back in time and reveals more Walker family secrets, with younger actors taking on the show's key roles.

Less screen time for Sally Field, Rachel Griffiths and Calista Flockhart is never a good idea, ABC.

Still, you'll recall I loved last year's B&S "movie event," even if they didn't kill off Rob Lowe's character as the promo teased.

So, I'm holding out hope that this year's very special episode will deliver the drama as well.

Madonna on . . .

THE INSPIRATION FOR HER UPCOMING JUNIORS LINE, MATERIAL GIRL:
Lola has been bothering me for ages about designing clothes. Stella McCartney is a good friend of mine and she got her mind thinking when Lola was a little girl, about eight years old. She started giving Lola fabrics and inviting her into her showroom and asking her opinion on things, giving her sketch books and stuff like that. Stella always pushed her. I have a lot of friends who are clothing designers whether it is Gaultier or Dolce and Gabbana. [Lola] has been around all of the shoots I have done and all of the campaigns I have done. She is always hanging out backstage. The last two tours I have done, she has been working in the wardrobe department. On this last tour she dressed all of the dancers.

WHAT LOLA'S TAUGHT HER ABOUT FASHION:
I am boring basically. She reminds me of me when I was younger. She just goes for it and tries different things. It doesn't look like she thought too much about it. That is how I used to be, but after years and years of everybody commenting on the way I look and dress and being photographed, one starts to become self-conscious and starts to plan things more. You end up judging yourself more, what looks good and what doesn't.

THE POSSIBILITY OF LOLA'S INVOLVEMENT THRUSTING HER INTO THE SPOTLIGHT:
That is why I am here talking about the line and she is not. Eventually I will let her. I feel like she needs to get into high school and focus on her studies, her lessons. She got into the high school of the performing arts. She has a lot of work to do. I don't want her to be distracted. She will eventually be able to talk about it. I am going to be happy when she does because she can speak much more clearly in and in a more informed way than I can about a line she is ultimately designing. I just stand in the background and go, "That's cool. That's not cool."

WHETHER SHE REGRETS ANY PAST FASHION CHOICES:
Madonna: Yeah. I would rather not point them out. I think I had a lot of bad hair moments. In the early 80's just sometimes I wore purple lipstick or green lipstick. Clothing-wise, I am happy about the way I dressed.

You Googled . . .

"Is Ben McKenzie Jewish"

"Is Ben Nemtin Jewish"

"Childhood pictures of Whit Hertford"

"Josh Duhamel talking about perpetual adolescence"

"Kelly Cutrone coming on to Jian Ghomeshi"

"Jake Epstein ass"

"Janice Wong Toronto"

"How tall is Jesse Giddings"

"Family connection porno"

"Justin Trudeau beach pics"

"Sale Pelletier wedding rings"

Magazine cover of the week

. . . and the Glee publicity continues to run, skate and cycle along.

Just 13 days to go!

Matt Damon headed to 30 Rock; I want to be Tina Fey

So, new strategy for life.

Tomorrow I start growing my hair out, throw on a pair of specs and start writing sketch comedy like it's my job.

When I grow up I want to be Tina Fey. And can you blame me?

Matt Damon is the latest guest star to be headed to 30 Rock as a potential love interest for Fey's Liz Lemon, according to reports this week.

Depending on Matt's schedule, he may sign on for a multi-episode arc.

So this means Sarah Silverman's fucking Matt Damon. Tina Fey will likely get at least a smooch in. And I'm still just sitting here blogging about it.

That shit's not right. Sketch comedy it is, from here on out, until Matt Damon loves me too.

Constant rotation: March 2010

"I don't wanna wake up with another; but I don't wanna always wake up with you neither."

1. The Sweet Escape, Gwen Stefani
2. Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely), Pink
3. Bones, the Killers
4. Beauty in the World, Macy Gray
5. I Want You, Kings of Leon
6. I Love You Always Forever, Donna Lewis
7. Still, Macy Gray
8. Freak Like me, Macy Gray
9. 100% Pure Love, Crystal Waters
10. There's A Light, Jay Malinowski
11. Kick Ass, Mika
12. Saturday Night, Whigfield
13. Secrets, One Republic
14. Rude Boy, Rihanna

Be right back

Busy times, updating when I can.

Guest blogs are welcomed, as always, to fill the gap.

Keep whining, Kate Gosselin

Making fun of Kate Gosselin is way too easy.

Ch-check out the whiny diva behaviour she exhibited while rehearsing for Dancing With The Stars.

Lecturing your partner like he's one of your poor innocent children is not going to fly, dear.

Big changes coming to So You Think You Can Dance

So I'm super busy with work unrelated to the blog lately, but I just had to get back here to express my excitement over the changes coming to So You Think You Can Dance season seven.

You're really shaking things up, Nigel Lythgoe, and I like it.

All last week the executive producer and judge was tweeting changes to expect for this coming season, but it wasn't until a FOX press conference yesterday that he explained how they'll all come together.

Season seven of So You Think You Can Dance will be an all-star season, of sorts. Instead of a top 20, there will only be a top 10, and week to week each contestant will be paired with a different "all star" from past seasons.

Viewers will vote only for the new contestant, not the all star, with just one contestant going home each week.

Lythgoe's planning on stringing us along, announcing the all star pool over his Twitter account in the coming weeks. He's mentioned they'll obviously have to be experts in their style.

I wonder if past contestants like Travis Wall, who have choreographed subsequent seasons, will be back as all stars. Do you think they'll invite Chelsie Hightower or Lacey Schwimmer back since they've moved to the dark side that is Dancing With The Stars?

I'd love to see Neil Haskell back, though I'm not sure what style of dance he would be an expert in. He could at least coach the dancers on goofy hotness, right? I'd also love to see Jakob Karr (duh), Mark Kanemura, and Danny Tidwell again.

As always, Cat Deeley will be our lovely host, with Nigel and Mary Murphy sitting as permanent judges. Murphy will get her own hot tamale train in motion this season, as she will choreograph in addition to her judging duties.

The seventh season of So You Think You Can Dance premieres May 27 on FOX.

Dear Ricky Martin . . .

I think it's great that you've come out as a "fortunate homosexual man" and all. But when the rest of the world has already gathered that you're a homosexual (fortunate or not), perhaps you don't need to release a multi-paragraph preamble to such an announcement.

As much as I hate a People Magazine "Yes, I'm Gay" cover story, at least that gets straight to the point, right?

When my roommate told me of your official outing I thought, "Why now? Does he have a new CD coming out?"

Then I read in your coming out statement, that you're working on your memoirs.

Thing is though, in the middle of reading said statement I thought to myself "Fuck, if this what his memoirs are going to be like, they'll be torture to read."

Just more dramatic than it needs to be, y'know?

Still, I give you credit for finally coming out. May homosexuals everywhere feel as fortunate as you.

Just saying is all . . .

. . . left, 16-year-old Justin Bieber at Saturday's Kids' Choice Awards.

Right, 17-year-old Nick Jonas preparing for a fishing trip on Sunday.

And Biebs is the one the young kids are all in love with?

For the record, If I was a 13-year-old girl I'd still pick muscles over floppy hair. Thanks.

Nelly Furtado's Girlfriend In This City

Take your first listen to Nelly Furtado's Girlfriend In This City, a track believed to be leaked from her fifth studio album Lifestyle, expected May 25.

The orchestral musical arrangement (violins!) backs lyrics of a lover done wrong.

It's a decidedly different sound from the singles off Nelly's 2006 album Loose, but I like it, I like it a lot.

The lyrics remind me of Alanis Morissette's You Oughta Know, while there's a little pop hook in there that takes me to Pussycat Dolls' Don't Cha.

On what to expect of Lifestyle, Nelly recently said, "What I can say is that it's a combination of my other four albums. It has hip-hop, reggae, love songs."

Ooh, I'm looking forward to its release. An inevitable soundtrack to my summer, fo'sho.

Three reasons you want to watch Tina Fey on Letterman

1. The reveal of a hilarious photo of her at nine-years-old

2. Hilarious stories about her adorable daughter Alice

3. Tina's hilarious impression of Tracy Morgan

Tweet of the week

Full House star Andrea Barber had a great ol' time tweeting through her viewing of the Twilight Saga: New Moon last week.

I had a great time following her tweets. (Start reading from the bottom).

1. LMAO -- I am soooo deleting these tweets in the morning....about 10 hours ago via web
   • Reply
   • Retweet
2. Okay Jacob, cut your hair. THEN take your shirt off. Thank you.about 10 hours ago via web
3. I want to stick forks in her eyes. Or mine. Jacob, take your shirt off already!!about 10 hours ago via web
4. Wish I didn't hate Bella so much. How much of a salary increase would it take to remove that stick from her ass??about 10 hours ago via web
5. No fair. How come guys didn't look like this when *I* went to high school??about 10 hours ago via web
6. Okay. Team Jacob. SOLELY because of the pectorals.about 10 hours ago via web
7. Watching New Moon on pay per view and drinking pear cider. Oh yeah!about 10 hours ago via web

Gay crisis? Bryan Safi can help

Bryan Safi's latest That's Gay segment had me LOL-ing the whole way through.

Safi provides some very sage advice to closeted politicians in "The Straight Politician's Guide to Managing Your Gay Crisis."

Favourite line: "If you look like a duck and walk like a duck, pretend you fucking hate ducks."

This one's a real winner, you guys.

MTV cancels the Hills

When something's repeated enough times on your Twitter feed, you just kind of feel obligated to blog about it.

Which is why I'm going to go on and report that the upcoming sixth season of the Hills will be the series' last.

This is about two seasons too late for anyone to care, right?

"I think we've told the story of struggle and of finding yourself in L.A.," says show creator Adam DiVello. "A lot of these kids have found themselves and have certainly embarked on different careers and different paths."

And by "careers" and "paths" he means excessive plastic surgery, staged paparazzi photo shoots, DUIs and general fame whoring.

The sixth and final season of the Hills premieres April 27 on MTV.

Sue Sylvester takes on sneaky gays

Oh my god, I want to marry Sue Sylvester so hard.

Contributing to the growing Glee hype in anticipation of its spring premiere, FOX released the above segment of Sue's Corner in which the cheerleading coach takes on sneaky gays.

"Nowadays sneaky gays are everywhere," she warns. "You could be sitting beside a sneaky gay right now and you'd never even know it."

To be clear, Sue doesn't have a problem with gays. She just wants to be aware when there's one in her midst.

She cites famous gay Neil Patrick Harris, for example, as a sneaky type.

"I hear you're gay but there you are on my TV playing a normal, womanizing, cardigan-wearing straight. That's confusing. And then I heard a rumour you're not actually a doctor."

How does she feel about Adam Lambert, you ask?

"You're on the right track, but still too subtle . . . swish it up a bit!"

Bahahahah!

I wonder how Sue would rank me on the sneaky scale. If Adam Lambert's too subtle for her, I think I better swish it up a bit too.

Song of the moment: There's A Light

Congratulations, Jay Malinowski.

Your song There's A Light has successfully broken through the 90s dance pop that has dominated my iPod playlists as of late.

The second single off the Bedouin Soundclash singer's solo album Bright Lights & Bruises is just kind of lovely, you know?

The video, released this week, was filmed in Iceland in January and directed by Michael Maxxis.

The gorgeous scenery fits the contemplative and slightly sullen tone of the song perfectly.

Though Malinowski sings of seeing light, the song also exudes a sense of comfort in the darker sides of life one encounters.

The song's available on iTunes now.

Lea Michele's Like A Prayer

Ch-check out this awesome new Glee preview my friends, featuring the lovely Lea Michele singing Madonna's Like A Prayer.

I. can't. wait. to watch this.

The 45-second-spot also lets Sue Sylvester get a few zingers in, Kurt sass it up, and Artie clap a few times.

Magazine cover of the week

Tina Fey brings a wild woman's touch to the April 2010 cover of Esquire Magazine.

Though the 39-year-old funny woman looks hot hot hot handcuffed to a cop on the cover, she says she wasn't completely sold on the "wild night out" setup for the shoot.

"I got an e-mail [from Esquire] with a list of the potential setups, and my e-mail back was like, Well, I need to decline being handcuffed to a bed. I won’t straddle anyone. I won’t make out with a cop," she says.

"There are certain things, I totally get them as a premise. And they’re all good fun, and if I were a young single model, they would be appropriate, but, you know, I’m a mom. And my kid’s going to find this someday. I don’t want to be handcuffed to a bed in Esquire. What are you nuts? I’m not going to make out with a cop that I’m handcuffed to. I got to get my kid into kindergarten. I guess that’s more of a Montessori way of learning, when they handcuff you to things.”

It's a pretty fun photoshoot, nonetheless! Hope little Alice isn't embarrassed about it when she grows up!

To get Tina's take on Twitter, her Sarah Palin impression and a potential book project, ch-check out Esquire's website.

Meanwhile, on the cover of Shape Magazine . . .

. . . Chelsea Handler's looking smokin' fine in a little red bikini, showing off her "seriously sexy abs."

Though Handler's clearly in shape, she tells the magazine her family didn't quite get the picture when they tuned into her talk show.

"I went home to visit my family after my show first started and my sister said to me, ‘Oh, you look good. We were going to say something about your weight because you look so big on TV,'" she says.

"And then I looked at their TV and I realised they had it on wide-screen. I’m like, ‘Of course I look big. Take it off wide-screen you losers!'"

Sounds like she treats her family just as well as I treat mine.

(I keed, I keed).

WWIB: lovely(?) in lace edition

Two of the biggest nuisances in my life showed up to Chelsea Handler's book launch in L.A. last week dressed remarkably alike.

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Shenae Grimes both walked the red carpet in black lace, though I'm not sure it served either of them particularly well.

If I was forced to choose I'd say Hewitt's look is working a little bit better for me. Though she's looking a little pale, the dress itself is pretty classic, and it's hard to argue it looks bad.

Grimes' dress isn't that dissimilar. But where she went wrong is layering black on black on black on black. Are the leggings and shrug really necessary? I'd say not.

Maury Povich is an evil, heartless man

How has it taken me three years to discover these outrageous segments from a 2007 episode of Maury in which the host taunts people with phobias that are ruining their lives?

Not only did the host pretty much dismiss his guests as being ridiculous for their fears, he then tested whether he could make them shit/vomit/piss themselves at the sight of whatever they were afraid of.

I first came across the video of the woman with a cotton phobia, above. He had production assistants cover themselves in cotton and chase her around the studio.

I then moved on to the pickle girl, below, who crawls through the audience to get away from a tray of pickles:


Entertaining? Yes.

But you better believe if I had a strong irrational fear of something I would punch Maury Povich in the fucking face if he waved that item in front of me and cackled like that.

Is Maury still on the air? Probably not, right? These segments make me want to write an angry letter to someone.

They even make me appreciate Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz , Dr. Drew. And I normally can't stand them!

This is why I should just stick to the ladies of the View. That's some daytime drama I can handle.

Rosie returning to daytime TV?

Now that Oprah Winfrey is ending her daytime talk show after next season, Rosie O'Donnell is planning a return to the syndicated talk arena beginning fall 2011.

Rosie says the show will feature "a single topic, hour-long show about life, love and laughter." There will be "no desk" and "no celebs promoting movies," but that there "may be a few giveaways."

Rosie's producing partners Dick Robertson and Scott Carlin confirmed yesterday they're developing a show with the hopes it will be syndicated in Oprah's vacated spot in many markets.

“This is a once-in-25-years opportunity,” Robertson says. “There is this gaping hole starting in September of 2011 when Oprah goes away. Who better to fill it than Rosie?”

O'Donnell of course is no stranger to daytime. She won multiple Emmys over the six season run of the Rosie O'Donnell Show, and moderated the best damn season of the View ever.

Let the countdown to fall 2011 begin!

Three reasons I love this YouTube video

1. The baby hates Miley Cyrus. So smart!

2. She smiles and dances while listening to Bon Jovi. So cute!

3. The fact that based on his voice, daddy is most definitely Javier from Felicity.

How do we feel about . . .

. . . the jumpsuit America Ferrara wore the premiere of her new animated movie How to Train Your Dragon in L.A. on Sunday?

The Ugly Betty star donned a strapless Milly Spring 2010 jumpsuit, with an asymmetrical belt and black Christian Louboutin Very Jaws heels.

I think I like it. It's fashion forward, right? The belt and heels are very necessary to pulling it off, though.

It also helps that Ferrara's hair and makeup are definitely on point.

Looking fresh and feisty, I say.

Toni Collette on . . .

ON PREPARING FOR THE TITLE ROLE IN THE SERIES United States of Tara:
It was just a little more preparation, but I have the luxury of working with fantastic material and no matter how many characters I’m playing – if it’s really well written it comes off the page and I have an immediate understanding and response of at least where to start with the character.

ON PLAYING A CHARACTER WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES:
I played FIVE in a day! It’s easy now. Once they’re in, they’re in. It was just a matter of understanding them as whole individuals and making them as real and relative as possible so the audience can relate to them and respond and invest in them as whole people.

ON THE ROLE THAT GOT AWAY:
I turned down Bridget Jones’s Diary because I was busy working on Broadway, but ultimately I really don’t regret anything because we each have our path and I had great things come into my life when I would have been shooting that film. I think things happen for a reason.

ON BEING PRESSURED TO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY IN HOLLYWOOD:
Never. My career has never been about the way I look and I revel in that now cause . . . I just think if that’s your aim, then you’re gonna be pigeonholed and have a short-lived career. I love what I do and telling stories in this way and my role within that, and I want to do it for a long time . . . it makes me feel alive and it really feels like it’s been a true calling for me, which sounds wanky and odd, but in all seriousness I started doing this when I was a teenager and I can’t believe it’s still going. I think about what life would be like if I didn’t do this and I don’t know what I’d be doing.

[source: Autostraddle]

Gossip Girl line of the week

Serena: The thing about your virginity is you can never get it back. I always kind of wish I would've waited for somebody who really stood up for me and fought for me, y'know. Like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing.

Jenny: Dirty Dancing?

Serena: It's great, you should download it.

Betty White couldn't say no to SNL

Betty White was her charming hilarious self during an appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres Show today, where the comedy legend explained her decision to host Saturday Night Live on May 8.

"[They asked me to host] three times, early on, years ago and I turned it down because it's so New York and I'm not New York, and it's scary and I scare easy," she said. "Then this silly Facebook thing started . . . I'm such a pushover, I just can't say no."

The 88-year-old actress also talked about her new sitcom Hot in Cleveland, her big Snickers commercial during the Super Bowl and receiving the Screen Actors Guild's Life Achievement Award.

Stay tuned till the end to watch Ellen test Betty's ability to resist laughing, in preparation for her SNL hosting gig.

Mr. Belding: acting coach?

Um, who cast Saved by the Bell's Dennis Haskins in a new role without telling me?

While procrastinating on YouTube last week I somehow came across a web series called Acting School Academy posted in September 2009, which stars the former Mr. Belding as an acting school coach.

I haven't been able to get through a full episode, but within the first five seconds audiences are reassured Haskins' acting is on par with his glory days on Bell.

If anyone takes the time to watch the series, could you let me know if Haskins ever whips out his signature "Hey, hey, hey, hey! What is going on here?!"

Or if, like, Lark Voorhies or Leanna Creel ever pop up. That would be fantast.

Monday deliciousness

Hey guys, remember when my hair stylist suggested I be Alexander Skarsgard from True Blood for Halloween?

Well more and more I feel the need to thank him with, like, multiple haircuts and generous tips.

Skarsgard was snapped looking all fine and shit walking around in L.A. last week.

Look at buddy boy rock that tshirt like it's his damn job, right?

I think it's time I finally give True Blood a shot. You've convinced me, Alex Skarsgard. You've convinced me.

Happy Monday!

Quick hits, in case you missed it

Jesse James has allegedly cheated on Academy Award Winner(!) Sandra Bullock, and the world has gone batshit crazy about it. Apparently I'm the only person in the world who doesn't feel super invested in this relationship. But, if there's any silver lining to this shitty situation, it's that soon Sandra will surely be able to channel all her emotions into the romanticest comedyest film of her career.

In news I care slightly more about, it was revealed this week Kate Winslet and husband Sam Mendes have separated. Which makes my Oscar-night tweet "I want to be Kate Winslet's husband" all the more possible.

Betty White is returning to series television in the TV Land sitcom Hot In Cleveland. White plays the caretaker of a house rented by fellow sitcom vets Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves, and Wendy Malick. And if this preview clip is any indication, White's probably the best thing this show's got going.

Congratulations to Amy Poehler and Will Arnett who announced they're expecting their second child, a little brother or sister for 16-month-old Archie.

You're bound to hear something you like in this mashup of Lil Wayne and the Office theme song.

Mario Lopez tells Us Magazine he hopes his first child will be "half as cool" as his dog. He leaves A.C. Slater's pet chameleon Artie out of the conversation, however. Because we all know no one will ever fill the void that lizard left when he died.

Mika kicks ass

Ch-check out the video for Mika's new single Kick Ass, from the soundtrack of a comic book film of the same name.

As he's been known to do, Mika's penned yet another anthem for misfits and underdogs. The chorus is as follows:

We are young
We are strong
We're not looking for where we belong

We're not cool
We are free
And we're running with blood on our knees

The lyrics fit the film perfectly, which follows a high school student who decides to become a superhero despite not having any superpowers, training or meaningful reason to do so.

Oh, and of course the song's catchy and high energy as we've come to expect from Mika.

Get ready to Express Yourself, Gleeks

In exactly one month, FOX will air the highly anticipated Madonna-themed episode of Glee, featuring ten covers of the pop icon's songs.

Never one to miss a merchandising opportunity, the network also just announced it will release an album of the episode's songs entitled Glee: The Music - The Power of Madonna.

The track listing is as follows:

01. Express Yourself
02. Borderline/Open Your Heart
03. Vogue
04. Like A Virgin
05. 4 Minutes
06. What It Feels Like For A Girl
07. Like A Prayer

Thank god they're covering Like A Prayer, right? It would be blasphemous to have a Madonna tribute episode without it.

I'd argue we could do without What It Feels Like For A Girl, but the rest of the songs are pretty damn cah-lassic. Wonder what the remaining three are!

The episode's airdate and album's release both land on April 20.

Can't wait to see who's voguing!

Look of the week: Dianna Agron

Glee's Dianna Agron looked positively pretty as she showed up to the show's panel at PaleyFest last weekend.

The 23-year-old from Savannah, Ga. looked a class act in red skirt, white top and perfectly parted hair.

Is it just me, or does anyone else expect her to bust into a number from West Side Story in this ensemble?

It's simple, it's cute, it's age appropriate. I like it, I like it a lot.

Tweet of the week

kathygriffin

I just stormed out of my 1st senate hearing on "don't ask, don't tell". I called Saxby Chambliss "cuckoo-pants" nice n loud. Good exit, yes?about 12 hours ago via Echofon

Nigel Lythgoe teases changes for SYTYCD

So You Think You Can Dance executive producer Nigel Lythgoe has teased big changes for this summer's seventh season of the franchise.

Lythgoe says "shocking, shocking, shocking format changes" are in store, though he can't reveal details just yet.

I just hope "shocking, shocking, shocking" doesn't actually mean "shitty, shitty, shitty." Watch yo'self, Nigel.

Lythgoe has revealed he's toying with the idea of having more rotating judges, as opposed to keeping Mary Murphy and Adam Shankman as permanent judges. In fact, he says he'd like to see Murphy choreographing this season.

One person you won't see on the judging panel is Paula Abdul. After courting the former American Idol judge over season six, Lythgoe says he's finished wasting his time on her.

"I spent an entire season wooing her and if she was ever going to do it, she would have," he says. "The timing was perfect for her and I was rather shocked she didn't pick up and join us at any point . . . I know we don't have Idol money and so does Paula, but at the end of the day I do plenty of things for no money because I want to support dance. And as an dancer/performer/choreographer, I would have thought she'd like to support us."

Apparently not!

Here's hoping any changes to SYTYCD don't screw things up. You're already on thin ice Lythgoe, after not offering a season six tour.